


It's hot in Kabul

by subito



Category: Political RPF - UK 21st c., Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: M/M, Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-14
Updated: 2011-05-14
Packaged: 2017-10-19 09:25:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subito/pseuds/subito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a prompt asking for Nick Clegg/David Petraeus clumsy not-enough-space shagging inside a tank.</p><p>(The military stuff might be all wrong.)</p><p>Chapter one is Clegg/Petraeus, chapter two is a Cleggborne-ish sequel</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It’s hot in Kabul. It’s the end of August and it’s hot. There’s sand everywhere and nothing to cast a shadow. Nick sighs and takes off his jacket as he gets off the plane. A lane of soldiers stands by, straight, unmoved, welcoming him. He smiles and nods and shakes hands with the British man in command. They walk and talk and a few minutes later they are inside a building where a cooling system manages to make the air just the right amount of chilly.

Nick tries to listen carefully and remember the names of the people he is introduced to but his mind is preoccupied. Until a man enters the room who is about as small as David Laws but has the presence and charisma of three men.

“Mr. Clegg, General Petraeus.” They are introduced and Nick remembers those intelligent eyes and the thin nose. “General Petraeus will show you around, Mr. Clegg. If you will follow him outside…”

Nick doesn’t want to go back outside but he is the Deputy Prime Minister and here to do his job. He is also fascinated by the General, the way he moves and the way the heat doesn’t seem to affect him at all. But he pushes those thoughts away and tries not to stare at the well-fitting uniform and how it compliments the other man’s behind.

General Petraeus shows him some planes, explains some of the weapons and elaborates on the strategy. Nick takes it all in, especially the bits about strategy. Everyone can learn facts about weapons and the machinery but the things the General is saying about strategy make Nick smile when he realises that behind those intelligent eyes works a brilliant mind.

Nick forgets about the heat and, for a while, forgets about time.

They just finished talking to a small group of soldiers who demonstrated for Nick’s sake what they do in emergency situations.

Now Nick is wearing a bulletproof vest, which is a lot heavier than he had expected. He notices the sun standing very low and the warm light on the General’s face. It’s the first time all day they are standing close, the first time they’re really looking at each other. The General looks at Nick with a bemused smile and Nick doesn’t know whether it is because he caught Nick staring at his arse all day or because of something else. The look makes Nick blush and he hopes the light of the evening sun masks it.

“I have to thank you for this highly informative day, General.” Nick breaks the silence. “It was very interesting to see things in so much detail. I also have to thank you for showing me everything. I’m sure you are a very busy man with not much time to spare.” Thinking their ways will part now, Nick extracts his hand. “It was a pleasure to meet you”

“Likewise.” General Petraeus shakes Nick’s hand and, whilst still holding it says, “If you have just a few more minutes I’ll show you something special.”

There isn’t any polite way to decline and he actually enjoyed spending time with the man today (well, his backside most of the time) so Nick lets himself be lead to a hall. Through some high, big windows the low sun bathes what’s in it in golden light that also makes Nicks hair considerably more ginger and highlights the Generals surprisingly few grey patches of hair.

“It’s a Leopard 1”, General Petraeus explains. “It has been build by the Germans after WWII and although it is not used often anymore, we built a lot of tanks modelled on it.”

Nick looks up at the massive piece of metal and the heaviness is almost palpable. He wonders how it must be inside. How people can live and breathe in there, how they get comfortable, how they see what they’re doing.

The General meets his eyes with a huge smile. “Would you like to go inside?” Nick laughs, for the first time in days.

The Leopard 1 is, like other tanks, much bigger than you would think from pictures. They climb onto it and Nick envies how effortlessly General Petraeus manages it. He must be several years Nick’s senior but he seems even fitter than Nick remembers to have been in his teens. When he reaches the top, the General holds out a hand and helps Nick to climb the last few steps.

He discovers that this had been the easy part. Getting inside is one of the weirdest feelings and most complicated acts Nick has ever done. The tank might look big from the outside but was anything but on the inside. A tank is a reverse!TARDIS with narrow passages and sharp edges, cramped and doubly so for a man Nick’s size. It is also way too hot.

There isn’t much space and Nick asks himself how more than two people fit inside. Since the General had made him go in first, Nick stands with his back on the wall of the tank and the General’s back is to Nick.

‘Maybe he is doing that on purpose’, Nick thinks. ‘Someone with his experience should know how to get into a tank without bumping into someone else.’ But what he says is something about it being so much smaller than it looks from the outside and the General grins. Nick can see it because the General turns around in that moment, brushing Nick’s trousers in a dangerous zone. ‘Bastard’

“I see you’ve been admiring our…weapons all day.” He prompts Nick in an unmistakable voice. Nick gulps. “Looks like the Prime Minister isn’t the only one with an uniform fetish. I see…” he continues, pointing at and ghostly touching the part of Nick’s trousers that appears very strained. “…that he and his deputy share some special interests.”

There is nothing Nick can do. He can’t run away, can’t blame it on anything. He has to face up to what is happening, what he secretly fantasised about all day but daren’t think would ever become real. But there is one thing he can do. He crushes their mouths together a bit awkwardly, sliding down on the hard tank wall to level their heads.

Hands find damp hair and rough cloth, the nicer fabric of Nick’s shirt and pointy medals on General Petraeus’s uniform.

“Let me get the damn thing off”, General Petraeus offers a bit breathless and tucks at the bulletproof vest Nick is still wearing.

“Can..can I leave it on?” Nick asks and the General can’t help but smile. “Aren’t you a kinky one.”

They are back to kissing which proves tough because it is hard to close the height difference and keep your balance at the same time. Nick bumps into something with his arm while working on the General’s army pants and hits his head on another piece of metal when he changes the angle of their kiss.

A hand in his pants makes him forget the light pain and forces all his blood south. He moans into the General’s mouth and strokes the other man’s cock in return, which also earns him a moan. He forces the smaller man towards the tiniest table on the other wall but the General is fast and slips around so Nick is facing the table with General Petraeus behind him.

“You didn’t think you’d get to dominate me.” He says, biting gently on Nick’s neck and caressing Nick’s arse. Nick shudders and steadies himself with his hands on the table. He is trapped. In a very pleasant way. The coolness of the metal feels nice in the dusty heat and the hand that strokes his cock is very skilled.

“You have to move…” the voice from behind tells him “A bit to the left and forward” Nick tries to but there isn’t much space to move in and if he moves any further he will get his head bashed in.

“Can we just..” Nick moans “…just..” Another moan.

“Just what? What do you want, Nick?” The low voice and the use of his first name makes Nick shiver.

“Will you just…just fuck me already!” Nick says impatiently. A finger has been teasing his entrance for the past minute and it is all a bit too much to bear.

“What is that?” The finger stops circling and begins to press into him a bit.

“Will..will you just fuck me already. …Sir.”

“Better.”, the General tells him.

Nick can’t stand the teasing any longer. The heat outside and the metal, the bruises he will get and the muscled body behind him, the heat inside his body and the rock hard cock of the other man pressing against his arse.

“There is … in my pocket…”

“In your pocket?”

“Trousers…left .. ohmygod!” A finger enters Nick, who shuts his eyes and throws back his head. “Oh…”

General Petraeus tries to reach Nick’s pockets which is not as impossible as it would’ve been were he taller. He manages to rip open the package with his teeth and roll it over with one hand. But Nick doesn’t notice how skillful he is. Nick is bucking back and forth, not even noticing that he just hit a pile with his hip as the General added more fingers.

“You ready?” he asks and Nick a moment later, who just moans impatiently.

There is nothing gentle about this, nothing comfortable. It’s rough and primal, all groans and moans and nothing else.

The General is strong and handles Nick as if he were the smaller man and General Petraeus a giant. Challenging and beating soldiers twenty years your senior in push-up competitions does that to you.

It’s quick and dirty and when Nick thinks about the image the General must give while he is fucking him it is almost enough to push him over the edge.

He sees himself bend over the small table, weighted down by the bulletproof vest. The General behind him in his uniform, army pants down to his heavy boots that keep him grounded.

He feels one strong hand steadying his hips and another one working his cock and then there is a flick of the hand, thumb over the head and Nick comes with a cry all over the older man’s hand and the vest.

With a few quick and hard thrusts General Petraeus comes inside Nick and they both collapse, which is not much, given there is no real space to collapse in.

The air is unbearably sticky, even stickier than both of them. When they have calmed down, they don’t say anything. They just want to get out of the close space. The General leads the way and when they both are outside again, they look at each other and smile.

“That was really… something” Nick manages and looks down at the vest.

“I’ll take care of that”, General Petraeus tells him. “Together with this.” He holds up the condom, wrapped in a tissue. ”And yes, that was…something.”

Once Nick is out of the vest, they make their way back to the building from the morning. Nick is supposed to sleep there and fly home early tomorrow.

Before they run into anyone else, they say their goodbyes and Nick hands the vest to the General.

“I’m glad I was right about this.” General Petraeus confesses and adds with a grin “And I’m glad it is true what they say.” Nick inclines his head. “That you are a bit of a slut.”

Nick laughs and then shoots the other man a cheeky grin. “Wouldn’t have passed up this opportunity to act like one. Was definitely worth it..”

“Maybe we’ll run into each other again. Goodnight.”

“Would be a pleasure, I’m sure. Goodnight.” Nick replies and they start to make their ways home.

“Oh and Nick?” The General turns around again and looks at him one last time before vanishing into the dark.. “My name is David.”

Of course it is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cleggborne-ish sequel

It’s been a week since Nick has been to Kabul. It’s been a week since he’d been inside the tank. It’s been a week. And what a week it has been.

When he crawled into the Prime Minister’s bed, he made sure the lights were out. When he had sex with David Cameron, he made sure to be on top. When he cried out David’s name, he wasn’t entirely sure which David he meant.

It has been a weird week filled with arguments and agitation.

In conversations Nick always tried to argue about the military and made it subject of the conversation unusually often. It seemed to be the only subject he was interested in and he grew more and more argumentative the more days passed.

In bed he topped, to prevent his bruises from being seen or touched, but he secretly hoped David would eventually have enough and have his way with him. Nick grew more and more aggressive the more days passed.

It was the wrong David to talk to, the wrong David to sleep with. This David had the wrong voice and the wrong eyes. This David wore too nice shirts and too fancy shoes. This David was too tall and couldn’t do more than ten push-ups.

Nick sighs, head in his hands. Everything is wrong and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

The door flies open and then closes again. A very determined George is standing in front of Nick’s desk, very determined indeed.

“Listen, Nick. I don’t know why you are acting the way you do but it has to stop. Now!” George leans forward, finger thumping the desk. “Whatever problem you have with David, find a way to solve it.” Nick looks up. “Have you looked at David in the last few days? He looks a mess! Ever since you’re back from Kabul.” George finishes and waits.

Nick doesn’t know what to say and especially not how to explain even the tiniest bit to George. “George..I…”

“Tell me how I can help. He needs to get better and, frankly, so do you.” Nick looks at him doubtfully. “Even Danny has commented on how off you seem and he has only seen you twice since you’re back and he is always the last one to notice interpersonal things.”

“I don’t know, George” Nick confesses. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know what to do.” Well, at least half of that was true.

“Something must have happened and I’m not leaving until you’ve told me.” George tells him and sits on Nick’s desk, legs crossed. He also crosses his arms, looking like a big child and Nick knows that George certainly has the stubbornness of one.

“If you are not going to talk I’ll just guess and you can indicate with your head whether I guess right or wrong.” George offers and Nick, not knowing what else to do nods. Maybe it will help if someone else knows.

“So, it has to do with what happened while you were away” George starts and Nick nods.

“Did you get shot at?” Nick shakes his head.

“Did you see someone else get shot or wounded?” Nick shakes his head again.

“Is it something you saw?” Again, Nick shakes his head.

“Someone you met?” Nick hesitates and slowly nods.

George looks like he’s in deep thought, eyes looking upwards and tongue appearing in the corner of his mouth.

“Did you meet a victim of the war?” Nick has to shake his head again.

George suddenly seems to have an idea. “Was is something unpleasant?” When Nick shakes his head again George looks at him with wide eyes before exclaiming “Ha!”

“So you met someone but it wasn’t unpleasant…” George ponders and then looks at Nick with a mixed expression. “You shagged someone else!” he shouts and Nick surprises himself by how fast he reacts, putting a hand over George’s mouth.

“Psst! Don’t say it out loud!” Nick whispers and retreats his hand. Nick almost expects George to run straight to David but George stays where he is and looks at Nick with an open mouth.

“Don’t judge me, George. You don’t know how it was. Please don’t tell David!” Nick pleads.

“What about David, Nick? I thought you loved him!” George asks him in a quiet voice, looking away.

“I do! I really do, George. It’s just sometimes…” Nick starts but George interrupts him.

“Don’t give me that divorce speech! ‘Sometimes two adults…blahdiblah…But it’s not your fault, we still love you’. Nick, I’m not your child and you don’t have to justify yourself in front of me. All I want is for David to be better.”

None of them says anything for a minute but then George asks “Why did it cause all this. One time. What was so special about it?”

Nick thinks about that for a few seconds. “I guess..Well, it wasn’t him in particular.” He stops, realising what he has just said. “It was more the idea… You know when you have a fantasy, all your life …and suddenly it happens? Like when you yearn for the taste of something, something you didn’t particularly know you want but once you’ve tasted it you want all food to taste like it. At least for the time immediately afterwards. And..” he looks at George, a bit helpless “And you fear you might never be able to taste it again because your cook… he can’t cook it.”

Nick suddenly feels relieved but also very anxious. He’s looking at George for some kind of reaction but George is still in thought.

“What was it?” He then asks. “What was it David can’t…cook.”

“I…I can’t tell…” Nick blushes and George giggles.

“Whisper it in my ear. It’s easier.” George suggests and Nick leans in, using one hand to shield the words from going anywhere but George’s ear.

It feels a bit strange at the start but when he talks George through it, not leaving out any of the details he can remember, he feels George shift and squirm and when he looks down, he can see that his story had had quite an effect on the Tory.

George coughs a bit awkwardly and tries to hide the buldge.

“It’s ok” Nick tells him with a wide grin. “I see you understand why it was so…special.”

George nods and coughs again. His cheeks feel like when he then says “If.. if that is the reason for your mood” he starts, waving his hands around, pointing at the air to indicate “mood”, “If that’s the reason.. then… I could help you.”

He doesn’t meet Nick’s eyes but he feels the other man’s gaze, looking him up and down.

“You would… do that?” Nick asks him, a bit astonished. He bites his lip the moment George looks up, causing the other man to inhale sharply.

“Everything to keep the peace and make things right between you and David.” George says, a bit sheepishly.

“How selfless of you” Nick answers and can’t help but laugh. “And they say I am the slut!”

But the last word gets lost in a possessive kiss.

George proves surprisingly strong as he bends Nick over the desk.

“Totally selfless. Someone does have to punish you for your behaviour and I’m the most obvious choice because no one else knows.” He grins as he grasps a full hand of Nick’s hair and pulls. With his mouth now close to Nick’s ear he says “And next time, Nick.” His other hand working open the Nick’s trousers. “Next time I’ll wear my boots!”


End file.
